The Anti-June

Do you remember June Cleaver? She wore her little apron, with her perfect hair pulled back neatly, makeup always just right so that you know it's there but you can't really tell where it is, a tiny little sparkle always reflecting off of her ever-present, bright white smile. She was awake before her children, Wally and the Beave, and she always had breakfast waiting and lunches ready and labeled so that she could nonchalantly hand them out as her children walked out the door. Ahh, the good ole days...
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm the Anti-June. I just had this epiphany today. I've never really thought of myself as domestic, but as I looked around today, I noticed that my plants have died, it's been a week since I last cooked a meal (I slightly burned that one), and I have to give myself a pep talk before I can convince myself to pull out an iron. I do keep my house clean and I do the laundry, but beyond that I'm the Anti-June.
For example, today I decided that I would try this Downy wrinkle releaser in lieu of ironing my favorite work shirt. I justified this by telling myself that cutting down on ironing time is good time management. But this is where my problem began, because although the Downy did fulfill it's promise of a "light freshness" smell, it did nothing for the wrinkles.
So after ten squirts of the wrinkle releaser with no results, I started the ironing pep talk. "It'll only be ten minutes, and you'll look really nice at work tomorrow. Plus, you can iron as you watch TV, so as to maximize your productivity." (The pep talk was short today.) Unfortunately, this is where the plot thickens because evidently Downy and iron heat just don't mesh very well. It started out alright, but I must have hit a spot on the shirt that had a concentrated area of wrinkle releaser, because the shirt started smoking heavily, the material got very stiff, and suddenly a hole about the size of a fifty-cent piece appeared in my very favorite work shirt. Now, even the least domestic person can recognize that this isn't how ironing is supposed to go. Needless to say, I won't be wearing that shirt tomorrow.
Things like this never happened to June Cleaver.
And also, Downy should really put some sort of label on their wrinkle releaser. "Warning: Beyond it's light freshness scent, this product does not work. You'll waste your money and then when you try ironing as a last resort, your clothes will be burned to a crisp."