And Then I Was Like, "That's Why I Don't Like You Lance!"

Today started off just fine. I was up on time, dressed in a flash, had puppy in her cage without too much hassle, left my house on schedule with iced coffee in hand. I had even driven the first 15 mile leg of my 36 mile commute to work in record time.
You know they say that when something seems to good to be true, it probably is...
First, I decided it would be a great idea to literally dump coffee all over my shirt, my pants and the driver side seat. I then have to turn my car around to make the 15 mile trek back home. And when I get there, I let puppy out of her cage, since I'm going to be awhile changing clothes and cleaning out my car. Puppy's so excited that she decides to pee all over my house.
Why puppy? I'm a good mom to you. I feed you, pet you, play with you, love you. And this is how you repay me?
I, of course, freak out, spank her and stick her out in the yard where she proceeds to do her frantic puppy double bark pattern until I give in and allow her back inside.
Meanwhile, kitty has watched this chain of events unfold and decides that right then would be her best chance to kick me while I'm down. That's right, my strictly indoor cat bolts out the door and into the back yard.
I'm wearing no pants, mind you, so I say an uber quick prayer that no neighbors are awake yet, and I dash out into my yard (fenced, thank God) and play chase with the cat for several minutes before I'm finally able to herd her back inside.
Fast forward about 15 minutes. I've gotten the zoo under control. I'm dressed. I've even redone my hair that has been ravaged by the humidity during the great chase. I get in to the car only to discover that I've forgotten to dry out the seat from the initial coffee spill.
Yep, another outfit down for the count by 6:45 am.
That's when you know it's going to be a good day...