An Open Letter to Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature:

You've made your point, and I fully understand now that you can do what you want. Texas is evidently a deregulated weather zone, meaning you can send a cold front, followed immediately by a heat wave, rounded off with humidity, fog and rain. You can leave each day muggy with highs in the mid 70's EVEN IN DECEMBER. Point taken.
But Mother Nature, I do have one request. You see, I'm in the process of trying to grow out my naturally frizzy hair. I have to straighten aforementioned hair every night and every morning, just to make it semi-manageable. I'm not asking for Pantene hair; just a 'do that doesn't cause people to stare in horror. Is that too much to ask, Mother Nature? Because it's hard enough to deal with, without you enveloping me in your evil humidity every morning, inevitably causing my hair to stand up at the roots, in the ever popular Don Johnson fashion.
So I'm asking you politely and as nicely as I know how: please don't make me chop my hair off to eyebrow length again! Nobody wants that. And I'm going to tell you like I overheard a coworker tell his wife, "WOMAN! I've done loved you EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE!" I've picked up litter and consistently purchased fuel efficient cars to ease the strain on you. So please take that into consideration before you throw another 80 degree at me.

Thanks in advance for your prompt cooperation.