Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Star-biotch

Today was my day of indulgence.
I started my day at Starbucks (don't judge me!).
Ahead of me was a woman who seemed relatively normal...and then she began to talk:
"I want a tall mocha."
Starbucks girl replies, "Mocha cappuccino or latte?"
Crazy Star-biotch begins to freak out: "What do you mean cappuccino or latte? What's the difference? I normally come in, say tall mocha, and people just make me the drink that I like!"
Dramatic pause.
"I mean, I've never been so confused by any one person in my life. Just make me the drink and if it's wrong, I'll let you know. Oh, and I'm not going to pay for it if it's not right."
(Starbucks girl stares in disbelief with her mouth wide open, as Star-biotch continues in supersonic tone and speed.)
"I just can't believe that you can't figure out what drink it is that I want! How long have you worked here anyway? Because when I normally come in, the girl who's usually here automatically knows what to make me. And now that I think about it, it might be the white chocolate drink. But I don't know. She knows. She's the one who makes me my drink usually. I just can't believe that you can't figure out what it is that I want. I mean, how hard can it be?"
Then star-biotch does the unthinkable. She looks at me for moral support. She literally looks at me, lifts her eyebrows and rolls her eyes towards Starbucks girl as if to say, "Can you believe this?"
I'm completely unwilling to offer up even the slightest hint of empathy. In fact, I want to shout out, "No ma'am! I work in customer service and it's people like you who drive people like me crazy on a daily basis!"
Instead I avert my eyes and try to appear disinterested.
This sets crazy Star-biotch into a new frenzy:
"Well. I guess I'm just being ridiculous. I mean, this drink that you've given me is not what I normally get, but I'll accept it if I must. And I hope you don't have to deal with any more people like me today. Hopefully I'll be the worst customer and you can continue and not have anybody else like me! Good day!"
Crazy Star-biotch storms off, mocha LATTE in hand, and leaves Starbucks girl and me staring after her in disbelief. We both just shake our heads and I feel immediately compelled to say, "What a crazy broad."
We laugh. I order my drink and receive it without incident. Amazing.
This is a day in the life of a starbucks worker.
God bless them...

3 Comments:

At 7:00 AM, Blogger MARFSBABY said...

If I didn't know for 100% sure that she's safely tucked away in Surrey BC, driving her very own Starbucks worker to drink heavily every night, I would say that was my mother you experienced. Apparently she has a twin in Texas. Poor Texas.

 
At 7:43 AM, Blogger Drywall Mom said...

That reminds me of the scene Will Farrel did in the movie where he is a soccer coach where. He's in the coffee shop waiting in line and goes balistic on the people in the shop. Totally made me laugh when I read this.

 
At 8:51 PM, Blogger Courtney O. said...

So freaking funny, Marfsbaby :)

 

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