Yick, Yack, Yuck!

I have a dirty old man who now makes a habit of coming in to my office for apparently no reason at all. And every time he comes, he asks to see me. And every time he sees me, he gives me a hug. Not just like a sweet, thank you hug, but more like a wet-kiss-on-the-cheek, bear hug while telling me that he'd kill to be with a "beautiful woman." Gag.

Today, he came in just to check the status of his claim. Nevermind that he could call me or even call our national 800 number to check the status. No - he waits in our lobby for his turn to come back to my desk. And he's there for all of 30 seconds while I check on his claim and tell him that there's no change. We're still waiting on a decision. He knew that before he ever got here. Hell, he only filed his claim like a week ago.

I thought I'd be smart today, though, and stay seated behind my desk while he got up to leave - hoping that would stop the inevitable wet-kiss-bear-hug. But no, he stood up, walked around my desk with his arms outstretched. Again trying to stop the inevitable, I stuck my hand out to offer up a handshake. But the dirty old man grabs my hand, kiss/licks my hand, and says "You know that's not gonna do me" and pulls me up into his crazy bear hug.

Gross. Grody. Nasty. STOP KISSING ME! STOP HUGGING ME! STOP LICKING ME, FOR THE LOVE! And if you're going to wet kiss my hand or my cheek, at least leave behind some antibacterial lotion or something. Jeez. Somebody should go over office etiquette with him, I swear.