Monday, July 28, 2008

Wishy Washy

Wow - so much has happened, and is still happening right now.
First of all, I enrolled in the teacher certification program. I even took the content test early and passed it, which means that I could actually start teaching in August. I'm going to class on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, playing softball on Fridays and Sundays, and teaching a youth class at church on Wednesdays. I'm tired. But in the best way possible.

I went as far as to give my notice at work, which was actually pretty scary. I was just promoted in February 2007, so it's probably pretty upsetting for my managers to hear that I'm already leaving. Like maybe they didn't get their money's worth out of me yet...

So there I am - on my way. Making decisions. Making headway. And then I started to freak out after getting a "talking to" from my assistant manager. After discussing my options with him and taking time to think about them, I agreed to stay another year at Social Security. I do have two years to find a teaching job with the certification program that I'm enrolled in, and even though I'm still taking my classes, I sort of feel like I'm back to square one: not knowing what to do.

Damn this indecision! Just make a decision, Courtney!! I find myself saying this statement to myself in so many aspects of life. How did I become this person who is so careful to analyze situations from all sides that I tend to get stuck in them? How do you become a person who is willing to just jump in and see how things go? Is that even possible for me?

But the good thing is that I'm so busy these days that I don't really even have time to worry about that now. Baby steps...