Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Yick, Yack, Yuck!

I have a dirty old man who now makes a habit of coming in to my office for apparently no reason at all. And every time he comes, he asks to see me. And every time he sees me, he gives me a hug. Not just like a sweet, thank you hug, but more like a wet-kiss-on-the-cheek, bear hug while telling me that he'd kill to be with a "beautiful woman." Gag.

Today, he came in just to check the status of his claim. Nevermind that he could call me or even call our national 800 number to check the status. No - he waits in our lobby for his turn to come back to my desk. And he's there for all of 30 seconds while I check on his claim and tell him that there's no change. We're still waiting on a decision. He knew that before he ever got here. Hell, he only filed his claim like a week ago.

I thought I'd be smart today, though, and stay seated behind my desk while he got up to leave - hoping that would stop the inevitable wet-kiss-bear-hug. But no, he stood up, walked around my desk with his arms outstretched. Again trying to stop the inevitable, I stuck my hand out to offer up a handshake. But the dirty old man grabs my hand, kiss/licks my hand, and says "You know that's not gonna do me" and pulls me up into his crazy bear hug.

Gross. Grody. Nasty. STOP KISSING ME! STOP HUGGING ME! STOP LICKING ME, FOR THE LOVE! And if you're going to wet kiss my hand or my cheek, at least leave behind some antibacterial lotion or something. Jeez. Somebody should go over office etiquette with him, I swear.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Pay It Forward

So I have to recant on my blog posting from yesterday.
Because I was talking to one of my best friends, Tracy, and she told me a story that reminded me that there are really good people out there who still do really good things for people. Real-life Santas, if you will.
Yesterday, Tracy was at HEB buying food for their holiday party, and a man in front of her began a conversation with her. They talked for awhile and then he paid for his groceries, told her goodbye and left. Tracy walks up to the cash register to check out, and is informed by the cashier that the man ahead of her had left a one hundred dollar bill with instructions to pay for Tracy's groceries.
Tracy, being totally caught off guard, grabbed the money and ran outside to find the man. When she did, she thanked him but told him that she couldn't accept his money. The man told her that it was his Christmas gift to her, and that every year he looks for somebody special to help out. Because she was so nice to him, he wanted to help her this year.
Tracy went back in to finish checking out, and decided that since somebody had helped her, she would take the gift and share it. So she used $50 toward her groceries and gave the other $50 to the sacker, who's also really nice and has worked at HEB for years.
Anyway, because of my Debbie Downer posting from yesterday, I figured I should share this story. It reminded me that there are great people out there who just want to spread happiness and joy. And that's special.
Even when times are hard, or holidays don't seem as special as they used to be, Christmas still represents the birth of the man who made the greatest sacrifice that anybody has ever made for others.
I'm sorry I temporarily forgot that yesterday...

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Lies - all lies!

What is it about the holidays that changes so much when you become an adult?
I can remember being a kid, and everything seemed so magical and amazing. The lights, the cold, crisp air, the thought of that red-suited, bearded, jolly old man sneaking in through your chimney to LEAVE presents for you in exchange for a measley little cookie or two. How amazing is it to be a kid at Christmas time?
Because you eventually become an adult, and you realize that a fat man sneaking into your house at night is never going to end well. It doesn't end in a heaping pile of presents left just for you because you made the "nice list" for the year. No - your stuff is getting jacked is what actually goes on when someone slides down your chimney. You're waking up sans all things valuable - TV's, jewelry, money, etc. And if you're one of the lucky ones, you'll get to seek out your stuff at local pawn shops only to buy your own stuff back.
Welcome to the real world, kiddos. This is what life really is.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Great European Excursion of 2009

So many things going on recently - both good and bad.
But I'll focus on the good for now:

This week, I'll be applying for my very first passport EVER, thus fulfilling my lifelong goal of having a passport and having a reason to use it. And I'll be getting this passport because in March, my best friend, Lisa, and I are going to Spain and Italy. One full week of all Europe, all the time. Can I just say - awoohoo!!!!


Currently Speaking To Me...

...is Taylor Swift's song, White Horse:

"say you're sorry, that face of an angel
comes out just when you need it to
as I paced back and forth all this time
cause I honestly believed in you
holding on the days drag on
stupid girl, i should've known
i should've known

i'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale
i'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
lead her up the stairwell
this ain't hollywood, this is a small town
i was a dreamer before you went and let me down
now it's too late for you and your white horse
to come around."


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Don't Judge Me!!

Recently, I made the comment to a friend that life's too short to be "cool."
That single comment was the theme for my night tonight.
Because at about 8 pm, it started to SNOW here!! And not like little pansy non-snow flakes, but more like A BLIZZARD SENT FROM GOD ABOVE SO THAT I COULD HAVE A ROCKIN' NIGHT! And that's just what I did.
First, there was the snow ball fight with my neighbors, Butch and Justin.
Followed by the making of the snow man (by me - none of those lazy ass guys cared to join in).
Followed by the accessorizing of the snow man. I put on the Britney Spears looking hat and a scarf, for my pretty, high-fashion snow hottie. Neighbor Butch promptly removed the high-fashion attire and replaced it with a baseball cap for his all-American snow man. And then his buddy, Brian or Randy - I can't remember his name, so we'll just call him Randy - removed the baseball cap and replaced it with a cowboy hat for his redneck snow man rendition. Pictures were taken before the guys took it upon themselves to bust up my beautiful snow creation. Leave it to a man to ruin everything you worked hard for!
We followed that by making snow angels - and let it be known that I freaking rock at snow-angel making - and then we wrote our names in the snow before taking pictures of Butch's snow-covered truck, Veronica. It's now 11:05 and I'm just walking in from my winter escapade. I would provide pictures of said escapade, but I have a new computer that's evidently not recognizing my camera. What the hell?
So yes - back to the moral of the story: Though I lost cool points tonight by being a geek and full-on playing in the snow, it was worth it. Because life's too short to be cool. Embrace your inner geek!!