Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Blogger Tag

I got tagged...

7 things to do before I die:
2) Visit New York City
3) Convince Kevin to go bungee jumping with me
4) Hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Or at least see the Grand Canyon.
5) Learn to speak Spanish. I should probably get on that at some point...
6) Pay off my student loan. DAMN YOU, Texas A&M!
7) Do a flip on a trampoline or off of a diving board. I've never done one before.

7 things I can do:
1) Shake my ass
2) Piss off my husband!
3) Laugh until I snort
4) Eat like a man! I'm always munchin' on something...
5) Work out. See Number 4 Above.
6) Express my feelings. I say "I love you" at least 20 times a day.
7) Write

7 things I can't do
1) Sing - though it doesn't stop me from trying
2) Walk for long periods of time without falling over
3) Keep my legs on the chair at the dentist's office. I get so tense that I don't even notice my legs are straight out and in midair
4) Watch scary movies by myself. I'm a total pansy!
5) Sit still for very long. See my post about Adult ADHD.
6) Be anywhere near snakes/rats/snazards
7) Keep my opinions to myself if I feel strongly about something

7 things that attract me to a man
1) Good sense of humor. I have a job that's serious and sad a lot of the time; I need to laugh at home!!!
2) Being good with kids. Though I'm not mother material just yet, I do want kids one day.
3) Sense of responsibility. I don't care if he's rich or not, he just has to keep a full-time job and handle his share of the bills. I'm nobody's sugar mama!
4) Warmth. All women want to feel loved.
5) A good sense of the world around him. I always looked for somebody who understood that he doesn't live in an isolation booth. At least be aware of social/political issues, take a stance and have a legitimate reason for your opinions.
6) Accessibility. I'm totally a huggy person, and I need somebody who is not afraid of physical gestures like hugging/cuddling.
7) Just generally feeling comfortable around him. Home is my laid-back time, and I do not need to feel on edge, damn it!

7 things I say most
1) Shite - no that wasn't a typo. I actually say Shite instead of Shit
2) I'm over you
3) Why you make me be mean to you? (compliments of Reese Witherspoon on "Sweet Home Alabama"
4) I fell over... (compliments of myself. I just fall a lot)
5) SHUT...UP!! (compliments of Julia Louis Dreyfus on "Seinfeld)
6) You stink like a stinky stinker (compliments of Jessica Simpson on "Newlyweds")
7) AND THAT'S WHY I DON'T LIKE YOU LANCE! (compliments of my friend, Lisa, sophomore year in college. She actually cursed out some guy and finished with that exact line. Such a classic Lisa moment...)

7 celebrity crushes
1) Brad Lidge, closing pitcher for the Astros. So hot!
2) Michael J. Fox. Old school, I know, but I love him.
3) Dermot Mulroney from "The Wedding Date" and "My Best Friend's Wedding." Rarr!
4) Colin Ferrell. As long as he doesn't talk. He's such a jackass, but a total hottie jackass.
5) Charlie Sheen. Along the same lines as Colin Ferrell: Just sit there and look pretty.
6) Ryan Reynolds, from "Van Wilder." Funny and Hot. Good combo.
7) Prince William. He speaks for himself.

7 people you'd like to see do this list
1) Berly
2) Lisa
3) Amy
4) Shana
5) Felicia
6) Phoebe
7) Tracy

So Berly, Lisa, Amy, Shana, Felicia, Phoebe and Tracy: Tag, you're it!

Not The Mommy!

I found out yesterday that I may or may not be heading to Louisiana for the next few weeks/months through work to help out the offices whose workers are going to be out for awhile, dealing with hurricane issues and whatnot. I might not even have to go, but some of the workers are leaving as early as tomorrow or Friday, so I was warning my family about the situation last night, just so it won't be so much of a shock if I do have to leave.
Anyway, so my cousin calls last night, and I was like, "Well, I just found out..." And before I could even finish my sentence to tell her about possibly leaving, she cuts me off and shrieks excitedly, "You're pregnant, aren't you?!? YEEEE!!!" Ordinarily, I would just blow it off, but this is honest to God the fourth time she's done this to me in the past 6 months. WEIRDO. And it's such a story blaster when she does that, ya know? Because then I have to say, "No I'm not pregnant, but...blah blah blah." And every time, she sounds totally deflated and is like, "Oh, I thought you were going to say you were pregnant." Obviously! That's undoubtedly why you went supersonic just now!
It's so bizarre, because she didn't have a baby until she was 31, and now she's trying to pressure me into motherhood at 25. NO! I will not be swayed! Even in the face of your manic/depressive expressions of hope for a new baby in the family and then sadness because it's not happening. Somebody should let a sista know that you really shouldn't pressure people into major life-changing situations. You want a new baby, you have one yourself. I'll let you know when and if I choose to mother a child. I'm clearly not mommy material at this point...

The Big Oh-Three

Kevin and I exchanged anniversary presents last night, and I found a bit of irony in our choices of presents for each other. In fact, I think we might be a model couple in terms of evolved gift-giving. Of course, I donned my penis mentality and gave Kevin the Playboy subscription and trashy DVD combo. A classic man choice, I think. Kevin, in turn, put on his best pair of sissy pants and gave me the "Lifehouse" CD, which has one of my favorite love songs on it. Very sentimental and thoughtful. Impressive.
So yeah, major points for each of us. And much improved from last year when we ordered a pizza and watched TV, grunting "Happy Anniversary" to each other during commercial breaks. It was HOT, let me tell ya...

Monday, August 29, 2005

Blogger Buddy

Thanks be to Linny, who gave me directions on how to add word verification to my blog, thus allowing me to keep my anonymous comment option and avoid the spammers all in one!
Thank you so much :)


So in an attempt to stop random spammers from commenting on my blog anymore, I'm only allowing registered bloggers to comment in the future. Had to stop anonymous posting.
We need a blogger spam blocker!

Lake Snobby Pants

This weekend was alright. We were on the 19th floor, which I wasn't crazy about at first, but we had an amazing view of the lake. I learned that watching the lake is not enough, in and of itself, to occupy my mind for an entire weekend.
It was bizarre though. We did not see one other person on our entire floor at all throughout the weekend. And though the room was huge, with living room and kitchenette, it was extremely dark. Why would somebody be like, "No worries. People have a kitchen. They don't need to SEE." I need the light, damn it. So we swam, we walked the lake, we played pool and went to the outlet mall, and then on Saturday night we unanimously voted to leave early and come home, where there are LIGHTS and clean sheets (I always feel so dirty in hotels...).
The whole resort was so weird. The staff was evidently trained not to make eye contact with the guests. And they made it a point to jump clear off the sidewalk any time we walked anywhere in their vicinity. When we checked out early, the girl at the front desk was like, "Did you enjoy your stay, Mrs. Olson? I hope there weren't problems, Mrs. Olson. Please come back and see us soon, Mrs. Olson." (She was staring at the ground while saying this.)
It was so uncomfortable.
I'm 25! Call me Courtney.
I've never been so happy to get home, where people make eye contact with me and call me by my first name.
So, I'm thinking of getting Kevin a Playboy subscription for our anniversary. It's the gift that keeps on giving, and I know he'd like it. Is that too ghetto?

Friday, August 26, 2005


Another glorious Friday.
I swear, I live for Fridays. Sometimes, the anticipation of a two-day break is better than the actual break for me. I attribute this to the Adult ADHD that has thus far gone undiagnosed, but that I know I have. I always make plans to just relax over the weekend, but when it comes to actually sitting at home and doing nothing, I'm totally incapable of sticking to the plan. I want to work out, shop, dance, go to the movies, go camping, go hiking, hang out with friends and family, etc. I do not want to sit around. This drives my husband CRAZY, and understandably so. And by the time that my fatigue catches up with me (usually on Mondays) it's too late to take a break. Another week of go-go-go has begun.
This weekend, we're going to "sit" on Lake Conroe and "relax," according to my husband. I'm already planning to go to the make-shift beach, work out in the health spa at our hotel, go swimming at the pool, and shopping at the Conroe Outlet Mall (Christmas is only 4 months away, and I don't have anything bought yet!). My body knows not what it means to do nothing for an entire 48-hour period of time.
I wonder how far the jet-ski rental place is from our hotel...

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Big Perm, I Mean Big Worm

SHUT UP! Big Perm just made an appearance at our office.
The man came in with PINK ROLLERS in his hair.
And the kicker: he had rollers in his hair when he took his driver's license picture!
That's good stuff!

Gonna Be a Good Day, Tater

Today's such a good day!
I'm not feeling like I have to sneeze every two seconds. That's not just good for me. That's good for the people of Brazoria County. Less germs being spread, after all.
Sandy, our office senior, brought cookies AND brownies. YUM!
The sno-cone nazi finally caved and allowed me to have a sno-cone with only half the juice yesterday. I guess she finally came to her senses and realized that it's saving her money if she cuts down on the juice factor.
I've decided to apply for the job in Houston, knowing that I probably won't get it, but also knowing that I tried.
And last but not least, it's HUMP DAY! Two days left until we're chillen' on the lake! And with very little prospects of German divers hovering about in Conroe, I'm leaving my cell phone in the hotel this time!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Fast Cars and Freedom

You know the feeling that you get when a cold is imminent? The tickling nose, scratchy throat, impending sneeze feeling...yep, I've got it. And though this wouldn't normally be a big deal, this weekend happens to be the weekend that Kevin and I are celebrating our third anniversary on Lake Conroe. But it couldn't be more fitting because I was sick on the night that we got married also. I happened to get married on the week when I'm evidently always sick. Nice.
And I just found out yesterday that there's an opening at one of our Houston offices. So now I'm weighing the options: if I got the position in Houston, I would make more money, but also have a longer commute to work and deal with the horrendous Houston traffic. If I stay in Angleton, I know I'm in an office where I like the people and don't mind the commute, but where I also hate my job. Decisions, decisions.
I don't know why I'm even stressing this - I probably won't get the job anyway...

Friday, August 19, 2005


Happy Birthday to Kevin, who turns 29 today!
Let the countdown to 30 begin!!!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Courtney Lidge

My worst fear has come true. My anxiety level is through the roof. I don't want to leave my house ever again.
That's right. Snakes and Lizards have procreated to form the Snazard. I wouldn't believe this had I not seen it with my own eyes this afternoon. This little bastard lives in my garage, is black and about 3 inches long with scales, slithers like a snake though his legs are in plain sight, and is totally aggressive, choosing to come AT ME sideways, much like a sidewinder, whenever I set foot into my garage. It's the creepiest thing ever. If it's not a snazard, then it's a black lizard who's CHOOSING not to use his legs, and to instead live as a snake.
UUUGGGGHHHH! Scariest creature ever.
And he's fast.
And I scream like a baby and run into my house every time I see him. It's this fun game we play, and I'm quite certain that the neighbors think I'm crazy now that they're hearing high-pitched squeals and slamming doors coming from my garage several times a day.
Kevin saw it too, and he agrees that it looks and moves like a snake with legs. Damn Kevin, don't tell me I'm right when I come to you and tell you that a new form of scary has been created. I married you expecting you to calm my fears, tell me everything's going to be alright, and kill snakes/lizards/snazards. And yet this creature is still alive, I'm scared, and you have yet to tell me that I'm just over-reacting and that everything's o.k.
And on top of that, the Astros got killed tonight. But I did see my boyfriend, Brad Lidge, pitch the last inning. Totally worth it...

Get Out Of Jail Free

I'm off from work today! Woohoo!
No special reason - had lots of leave built up that I needed to use, so here I sit, watching my two cats fight.
My little cat, Sasha is the bad one. She's petite and cute, and mean as hell. Sometimes she goes on rampages for no particular reason at all, tearing off throughout the house looking for something to break.
What's so funny is that when she gets in her moods, the only thing that calms her down is to take her right front paw and rub the underside of it. It's the most bizarre thing, but it calms her right down.
Kevin was the one who discovered this several years ago, and we always laugh about it. But now, he's using his Sasha techniques on me. Anytime I'm upset now, he's learned to grab my right arm and gently rub my wrist in an attempt to calm me, much like he would do with Sasha. It usually works because I can't help but laugh when he does it, but it's too easy. It's like the "get out of jail free" button on my arm or something. Not fair...
On a side note, I'm going to the Astros game tonight! This will be my first visit to Minute Maid Park for a sporting event, and word on the internet is that Clemens is pitching tonight. Fun! Go 'Stros!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Slave For P.C.

This morning, I was thinking about pop culture and how much it shapes us. My language changes monthly, depending on the movies I've seen. After I saw Napoleon Dynamite, I was walking around saying, "Eat your casserole, Tina. GOHH," for weeks.
Some movies shape us for years. I saw "Sweet Home Alabama" with Lisa and Allison over 2 years ago, and still we're saying, "Why you make me be mean to you?" Lisa used that exact language on a voice mail that she left me just yesterday. It's a classic line, and one that I use on Kevin whenever he irritates me.
During the Friends era, I would send Friends Quotes of the Day to my friends via email. And never in my life have I ever said, "I KNOW!" and "We Were on a Break" so much as I did during that time.
I'm such a slave to pop culture, it's not even funny.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

One Pissed Off Consumer

...That would be me
I just paid $2.50 per gallon for gasoline.
It's the same damn gas that cost me $1.00 per gallon six years ago.
Have salaries gone up by 150% to absorb the cost of this? No. The cost of work has not increased by 150% in the past six years, despite the fact that we have an aging and increasingly knowledgeable workforce.
But the value of gasoline is evidently so much better now, that it's worth 150% of the amount that I paid for it six years ago. That better be some kick-ass gasoline...

Friday, August 12, 2005

Caffeine Headache

My coffee cup is MIA.
We had a baby shower for a girl at work today, and I noticed afterwards that my coffee cup is missing. Totally not a big deal - I can buy another coffee cup. But I haven't had any coffee today, and well, we all know how I feel about my coffee...
And why? Why does somebody want my old, fonky, stained, scratched coffee cup. Freak!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

The S.N.

I did it. I found a place in Angleton that makes a decent sno-cone. This place is open until Thanksgiving, which is awesome because it shortens the sno-cone offseason to about four months. Nice. There's just one problem, though. The sno-cone lady is actually a Sno-cone Nazi (comparable to the Jerry Seinfeld Soup Nazi, for all of those Seinfeld fans out there...).
She uses way too much juice on her sno-cones, making them more slushy than icy. Some might like that. Sno-cone Nazi evidently thinks it's everything that a sno-cone should be. Yesterday, I tried to take matters into my own hands. I asked the girl at the window if I could have my sno-cone with only half of the juice. She turns to the Nazi, and says, "Umm, she wants a blackberry, half of the juice."
Nazi just looks at me, grabs the sno-cone and proceeds to DOUBLE the juice. I kid you not, when I got my sno-cone back, the normally rounded top had collapsed from the weight of the blackberry juice. It was converted to a flat top. Damn. That's not what I wanted.
So the girl at the window glances at me in total silence, grabs the towel and proceeds to wipe all of the dripping juice off of the cup before handing me my SLUSH with an apologetic look on her face. I looked at the Sno-cone Nazi who appeared to be bowing out her chest in victory, and I caved. She had me in a corner and we both knew it. Being that she has a monopoly on the market until November, I couldn't run the risk of pissing off the Sno-cone Nazi. What if she snapped or something? I could just hear her shouting at me angrily, "No sno-cone for you!" And then where would I be? Back to the seven month sno-cone offseason...
I can't go back to that.
Not after living in a world where sno-cones are served until Thanksgiving...

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Another One Bites The Dust

Good Lord. I just got finished reading the 6th Harry Potter book. Could not be any more depressed right now. What happened to it being a children's book? That was no children's book. In fact, had I been a child reading the book, I'm quite certain I would be suffering from flashbacks associated with post-traumatic stress disorder at this moment. I mean, if you're trying to break your child into dealing with traumatic situations, why not just ease them in slowly by telling them how life really is? "Santa's not real! Tooth fairy's a fraud! There's no Easter Bunny and eggs are actually hidden by your parent/guardian/grandparent! You'll grow up and have a shitty job that you hate regardless of how much you study in school! Sometimes love isn't enough to get you through! People will fail you - time and time again, so trust only yourself, little one!" Most children could probably handle that string of traumatic truths much more easily than they could deal with this Harry Potter book...
On a side note, I highly recommend it. Excellent read.
Brace yourself...

Monday, August 08, 2005

One "L" in Alan, Evidently

My most sincere apologies to ALAN, whose name I mispelled yesterday. My bad :)
In my defense, Alan is one of those names that's tricky. It could easily be Allen, Alan, Allan, Alen (ok, so that's a stretch, but you get the picture.)
During college, I remember when Amy wanted to change the spelling of her name to Amee. She thought it was cuter that way and she totally expected us to honor her request for a spell change out of the blue. Instead, I started pronouncing her name phonetically. Ay-My. That stuck and I call her Ay-My to this day.
Growing up, I always wished that my parents had spelled my name "K-O-R-T-N-I." It's very Barbie, don't you think? Which is completely the opposite of me, so thanks to Mom and Dad for not giving me the cutesie spelling.
My cousins, Stacie and Lori, named their respective daughters Baylie and Krystin. Cute spellings. Fat chance of ever having a coffee mug with the correctly spelled name pre-printed on it. No "Krystin Avenue" or "Baylie Road" signs for their rooms. Random thought.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Lucille Ball Goes To Camp

Where to start on the camping trip? It was so much fun: we did all of your regular camping things - playing cards, going hiking, cooking food, hanging out, etc. There was a storm on Friday that we rode out in Kimberly's car, while eating chips and dip and sending S.O.S. text messages to Lisa. Good times.
Then, on Saturday, after going on the longest nature walk EVER, Kimberly, Allan, Kevin and I went to "swim" in the lake while waiting for Shana to show up (we ended up sitting by the lake, watching the water for about 45 minutes, but whatever.) So anyway, everybody's sitting down with their feet in the water, and I'm holding my cell phone because I've just gotten off the phone with Shana. I sit my cell phone on the ground next to me, antenna facing the lake, when all of a sudden I'm very aware of a troop of ants charging toward me. I turn around and put my hand down on the ground to push myself up and out of harm's way, and when I do, my hand comes down on the phone's antenna, effectively FLIPPING the cell phone in to the air and toward the lake. At this point, life is in slow motion. Kimberly and I are watching this play out, but there's nothing we can do about it. I want to scream, I want to reach out and grab my cell phone before it hits the water, I want to do anything but sit there like an idiot and watch my cell phone drown. But no, my body refuses to move. Not even a twitch. And instead, I sit there and watch my phone fall into the lake, bubble a few times, and sink like the Titanic. Nice. There goes my new $200 phone that I didn't buy insurance on, because "I've never lost a phone before..."
So you would think the story ends there, right? Sad Courtney goes back to camp crying?
Because out of nowhere, random German diver shows up and says, "Excuse me, but did you lose something in the lake?" (The man was like a German Angel sent from Heaven above.)
"Why yes I did," says Courtney
"I'm a scuba diver and I'm actually about to go into the lake on a diving excursion," says random German diver, "Let me see if I can find your phone." (Ok, those weren't his exact words, but his accent was thick, and I don't know what he said exactly, so you get the point.)
So long story short, random German diver (who had with him his German Shepherd, by the way, that provided us entertainment while we waited) becomes random German HERO, retrieves my phone from the depths of the alligator den, and emerges from the lake a cell-phone finding victor. I love that man!!! He even let me take a picture of him to be posted to my blog as soon as I get my pictures developed and put onto a c.d.
And the best part is that my phone is drying out and showing signs of working again. It's currently charging, and the screen is lighting up. Cross your fingers for me, and I'll be in contact in about 3-5 days, after my cell phone has dried out (hopefully)...

Friday, August 05, 2005


I told my supervisor, yesterday, that I had perfected the zigzag run, causing him to state the cultural differences between him and me. He said that I, being a white woman, am like, "Oh, there are known to be alligators at the park where I want to camp this weekend. Perhaps I shall learn to run in zigzag patterns in case I should encounter one." Where he, being a black man, would just be like, "Man, hell no I ain't going to no park where there are alligators."
That's probably a valid point. And a funny one. He cracks me up.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Ranger Co

So the camping trip is planned! Livingston it is. I've even been practicing my zig-zag running technique, just incase we should come upon an alligator!
I'm so excited though. Anytime I'm able to hang out with my girls from college, I know it's going to be a fun time. There's just an openness about a friendship after having lived together for four years that I haven't found in a lot of other friendships. All of my girls from college have seen each other sans makeup, sans bra, in our pajamas, when we were sick, mean, cranky, sad, happy, and silly. We've cried together over TV shows. We've cried together over serious, real-life events. We've cried together over boys. I saw one of my friends get pooped on by a bird. I saw several throw up. One threw me in front of a chainsaw-bearing freak at a haunted house to save herself. I ran away, screaming, from that same chainsaw man in the same haunted house with one of my other friends. We've been in embarrassing situations on MANY occasions: I busted my butt on rollerblades several times with one particular friend, I watched one fall down in front of a group of upper-classman hotties, I even worked in a freaking bagel shop with another friend. I accidentally exposed my boobs to a friend's grandpa after swimming across a pond at full speed for fear of the snakes that I just knew were chasing me. (Who would have dreamed that the force of the water would actually pull my bikini top down?) We studied together, goofed off together, eventually all succeeded together.
And now, we all live in different towns and manage to still be big parts of each others' lives. That's special. And that is why I'm throwing myself at the mercy of the's totally worth it to have a weekend with my buds.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Oh Dear Goodness

I was just researching Lake Livingston, because that's the sight of our "Happy Birthday Kimberly" camping trip, which I'm so excited about. But did you know that Livingston is the home of numerous alligators? I did not know that. And clearly also the home of numerous water moccasins. I did know that, but I wanted to ignore that fact.
So now I'm scared.
And in need of a beer to calm myself.