Courtney Lidge

My worst fear has come true. My anxiety level is through the roof. I don't want to leave my house ever again.
That's right. Snakes and Lizards have procreated to form the Snazard. I wouldn't believe this had I not seen it with my own eyes this afternoon. This little bastard lives in my garage, is black and about 3 inches long with scales, slithers like a snake though his legs are in plain sight, and is totally aggressive, choosing to come AT ME sideways, much like a sidewinder, whenever I set foot into my garage. It's the creepiest thing ever. If it's not a snazard, then it's a black lizard who's CHOOSING not to use his legs, and to instead live as a snake.
UUUGGGGHHHH! Scariest creature ever.
And he's fast.
And I scream like a baby and run into my house every time I see him. It's this fun game we play, and I'm quite certain that the neighbors think I'm crazy now that they're hearing high-pitched squeals and slamming doors coming from my garage several times a day.
Kevin saw it too, and he agrees that it looks and moves like a snake with legs. Damn Kevin, don't tell me I'm right when I come to you and tell you that a new form of scary has been created. I married you expecting you to calm my fears, tell me everything's going to be alright, and kill snakes/lizards/snazards. And yet this creature is still alive, I'm scared, and you have yet to tell me that I'm just over-reacting and that everything's o.k.
And on top of that, the Astros got killed tonight. But I did see my boyfriend, Brad Lidge, pitch the last inning. Totally worth it...