Nnnoooo!!!

I actually rollerbladed today without a major catastrophe. That's a big accomplishment for me, especially given my balance issues before wheels are even added to the mix. I had almost forgotten why it was that I stopped rollerblading, but my familiar vulnerable state while on two single rows of wheels this afternoon brought it all back to me:
It's sophomore year at A&M, and it's one of the first really hot and beautiful days of Spring. Finals are coming up, and I, always thinking of new ways to multi-task, have the brilliant idea to take my books and rollerblades to the park to get in some studying and exercise.
(Let me just give you a little background on the landscape of College Station: it has hills.
Now let me give you a little background on my skating abilities: they suck.)
As I'm trying to gracefully make my way through the park on skates, three thoughts simultaneously come to mind:
1) There are two very cute guys watching me rollerblade. Nice.
2) Wow, I'm going pretty fast - I didn't realize this park had such steep hills.
3) Damn - I'm dangerously close to this upcoming pond.
Long story short, I'm careening out of control toward this pond, and I glance over at the hot guys who are nervously staring at me. (God no - why me?!?) I try to put on my brakes, but my feet fail me. (Nnnooooo!) With hotties watching from a distance, it's now last resort time and my options are limited. Thoughts of Lucille Ball are flashing through my mind as I take a knee, do two out-of-control side tumbles, and finally come to a stop about 6 feet away from the pond. My eyes still shut, I reach down to take off my skates and can only imagine the laughter that must be coming from the hotties at this moment. (I will never know of their actual reaction, as I'm unable to muster up the courage to look their way after this humiliating incident.) With my eyes glued to the ground, I finish taking off my skates, dust off my scraped-up knees, and slowly stand.
The barefoot walk of shame back to my car was probably the longest of my life.
Looking back, I now consider it a success that I didn't somehow gain momentum while tumbling down the hill and end up in the pond anyway.
And that, my friends, is why I no longer rollerblade where rocks, water, or hills are present.