Scatterbrain

Since I'm way too scatterbrained to complete a single thought these days, I'll give a brief rundown of the things going through my head at the moment:
1) Craig and Felicia spent last Wednesday night with me since hubby was out of town. I was making deviled eggs, and we thought it a great idea to see what happens when you throw a hard boiled egg into a pit of fire. Turns out, it cooks a while, sizzles a bit, turns watery and then pops. Excellent to know. Not so excellent to clean up. I learned this second bit of valuable knowledge a few days too late, from an unamused Kevin this afternoon.
2) Today, as I was eating an egg roll in my living room, the commercial for anti-fungal cream came on where the little fungus cartoon guy jumps under the toenail of some poor, unsuspecting person. That might be the single-most grotesque commercial EVER. Is it really necessary?
3) This Friday is Kevin's company Christmas party, complete with d.j., open bar, buffet and casino games. Combine those things with formal dresses, as it is a "casual/formal event" and it has all the ingredients for disaster. With the wrong combination of said ingredients, one could get drunk, lose all their money, dance right out of their formal attire, and then eat their sorrows away, all right in front of your bosses and co-workers. Beautiful. Imagine waking up fat, broke, hung over, and with "Macarena" playing on repeat in your brain. I wait with baited breath.
4) And what in the hell is "casual/formal"??? I mean there's a pretty big range there, right? "Wear either overalls or a tuxedo, booty shorts or a ball gown." Narrow it down, for the love. The people need direction. Lord help me to get through the night without singing karaoke...
5) My brother just bought a new bike, leaving me to inherit "the hog." I've never been so excited about anything EVER.
6) Bonus thought: I miss the days of "booty" rap. Those songs were classic: Big Booty Hoe, Back that Ass Up, Baby Got Back, Rump Shaker, and Da Booty. They totally promote healthy body images. Back in the 90's, everybody wanted to be a big booty hoe. And really, there's nothing wrong with that. Is it sad that I actually own the "Monster Booty" cd?