On the Lighter Side...

The other night I went out to eat with a friend. We sit down, order our drinks, start to gaze at the menu when all of a sudden from my right-hand side, I hear "HEEEYY!" I look up, see what appears to be a drunk old man, smile, and return to my menu. But this guy is evidently on a mission not to be ignored. "HEEEYYY!" he shouts over and over, until we look up again. And then when we do, he waves, and goes about his business.
This continues for about 5 minutes, until my friend says, "He's lucky the cops aren't here. He'd be spending the night in jail." And just as he's finishing this sentence, I look up and notice two police officers walking in.
Uh oh. This is NOT good.
They sit down to enjoy their fabulously greasy dinner, and the man calms down for a moment.
"Whew," I think to myself - good thing he noticed them.
We go about our merry way for a few minutes, and all of a sudden, Drunk Drunkerson decides he needs to get up from the table.
He stands up. Takes a step forward, and then a step backward. He sways a bit and sits back down.
Miraculously, the cops don't notice his actions. I'm thinking this guy might just be in the clear, actually.
Then, this evidently-determined-to-go-to-jail man gets back up, and just as I say the words, "Walk straight, dude", he practically does a back flip onto the table behind him, falls over the table and onto the ground, all the while grabbing himself and pointing at the restroom.
This guy was so obvious, he may as well have yelled out, "I'M DRUNK AND I WANT TO GO TO JAIL!"
It was good stuff.

I'm not sure how it happened, but the policemen actually let this guy go after the waiter pleaded on his behalf, telling the cops that the guy's dad was on his way to pick him up.
Had it been me, I'm quite sure I would have been spending the night in the drunk tank. I never get off of things. But this guy - this slurring, intrusive, scene-making, table-knocking, self-grabbing, straight up drunk guy gets off. It was a truly inspirational scene :)

Note to self: when drinking, it's never a bad call to make friends with the waitstaff.

They might just pull through for you on occasion...