Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I SEE YOU!

As I made my death-defying trek through the traffic and into work this morning, I made a horrible discovery. There is a man in the Houston area who believes that windows are not translucent. I say this because for the entire 10 minutes that I sat next to him, the man sat there picking his nose. EWWWWW!
It took me back to this one time in college, when I sat in the computer lounge typing a paper. Across from me sat this guy who had the same "if I can't see you, you can't see me" mentality. For about five minutes, I sat (grossed out) watching him picking his nose, until finally I had enough.
So I leaned forward to where he could see my face, pointed at him and said, "I SEE YOU!"
I mean, damn, I thought he should know.
But I have to tell you, I wanted to laugh as the guy nonchalantly leaned to his left in an attempt to put his computer between us so as to block my view of his gross habit. So funny.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Maybelline

Went to Walgreen's today, and was perusing the makeup section, when I came across some Maybelline eyeshadow...but this wasn't just any eye shadow. I've actually deemed this very special makeup the eye shadow for dummies. It was cut into four sections, two lighter shades and two darker shades. And etched into the actual eye shadow were the words "brow bone," "eye lid," "crease," and "outer eye."
On behalf of women everywhere, I'd like to thank you, Maybelline. Because the art of the eye shadow application has eluded me for years. But thanks to a few simple etched in words, you've cleared it right up. Props to you! LOL

In other news:
-Big (belated) happy birthdays to my awesome husband and wonderful brother, both of whom turned 21 this week, ironically. (Plus 10 and 3 for Kev and Craig, respectively.)
-Kevin and I will have our 5 year anniversary in a little over a week and I'm freaking out because I can't figure out what to give him. Any ideas? Anyone?

And here's my random picture of the week:

Did anybody else know that the Texans have an actual band that (sometimes) plays during half time? Was I the only person who did not know that pro football teams have bands? Bizarre...

Courtesy of Kimberly...

To Be 6 Again...

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.

"I'd like to be six again", she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again??"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you dumb ass!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

No global warming, my ass.
It's HOT. As in H-O-T, hot in Texas! I think it's been almost a full week of triple-digit heat now.
RIIII-DICULOUS!!!

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Warning: Exercise Spamming in Progress

Who ran 6 miles this morning?
(with thumbs pointed at self)
THIS GIRL!!!

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Strawberry!

Got a little battle scar from tonight's softball game. (We won, by the way!!)

How did I get it, you ask.
Well, I could tell you about how I slid into home plate, scoring the game-winning run in the bottom of the 9th. Or about how I risked my body and dove for a liner that was heading up the left side...
But no, I can't, because those would both be lies, you see.
Instead, yours truly hit a ball into left field, took off running towards first and FELL head first into the gravel around home plate.
I am one graceful, talented broad.