Thursday, March 31, 2005

Terry Schiavo

I just finished reading on cnn.com that Terry Schiavo died today.
I keep thinking that this couldn't happen in a "civilized" nation - that we would take a person who's completely helpless in every way, and refuse to feed her for almost two weeks until she is finally so malnourished that her body shuts down. Despite my best attempts, I don't understand how it is in a nation that protects animal rights and prisoner rights, that this actual living, breathing human being was killed in such an inhumane way. I hope that her husband truly had Terry Schiavo's best interest at heart when he made this decision, and I hope he's not the monster that he's been made out to be.
It really is upsetting that something like this could be carried out legally in America today.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Awesome

A family of snakes has inhabited my backyard. Awesome.
I say that with every bit of sarcasm that you might have detected. I hate snakes. Hate them. With a passion. Evidently Kevin and I are just one big happy family with the snakes now. We've discovered three of them within three feet of our back patio, on which I will never set foot again. I know Kevin was just trying to comfort me when he said, "Don't worry, I don't think they're poisonous." But I wasn't comforted. Do you think the poison's going to matter to me when I'm busy dying of a heart attack from the sight of a snake. Probably not. The poison's just the icing on the cake for me. So yeah, home ownership. Great idea, Courtney.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Today

Today was such a bad day. It started out great - sun shining, people smiling - but halfway through the day, I'm interviewing a claimant, and my boss comes up to me and asks me where my husband works. I tell her, and she goes on to say that a plant in Texas City had a fatal explosion, and that she's not sure which plant it was but that I should call immediately and check on Kevin. Definitely not what I want to hear. So I called and checked on him, and it turned out that he was fine, but the plant down the street from the one where he works had an explosion, and at least 100 people were injured and 12 people were killed in the accident. How horrible.
It really makes you realize just how little control we have. Life happens in the shortest seconds, and it only takes one to change you forever. Scary...

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Paintin' Fool

Add "painter" to my resume.
I'm so proud of us - Kevin and I painted our room on Saturday. Our first official interior home project, and it actually turned out well. Who knew? I was nervous because we painted one wall darker than the others, and I was scared that we would mess it up and make our room look stupid. I'm not the most artsy person in the world, after all. But it looks pretty good. Nevermind that it took us 6 hours to paint one bedroom...
One room down. I'm thinking that at this pace, we should have our entire house painted by the end of summer...

Thursday, March 17, 2005

My Friday

Today's been such a good day. It's so nice outside, and I'm off tomorrow, so it has a very Friday feel about it, which I love. There's nothing quite like a Friday afternoon...
Plus, I had to give this big presentation at work this morning that I was seriously stressin' about, but it went really well and now I feel so relieved that it's over. I actually had a dream last night that I got up in front of everybody to give the presentation, and my tongue had swelled to the point that I couldn't talk. So that's not good, and then I forgot my powerpoint presentation disk at home. Strike two. I woke up before there could be a strike three, but I was feeling pretty anxious by 8:00. Thank goodness it's over...

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Someday I want to be...

As you can probably tell from my last post, I've been doing some evaluating recently. Evaluating myself and how I can become a better person...anyway, this is a non-comprehensive list of some changes that I feel need to be made in my life so that I can be a more positive person.

-I want to measure my success in terms of relationships and happiness instead of by monetary worth and material posessions.
-I want to be more open with my feelings, but in a tactful way - In the past, I've had the tendency to hold in my emotions until I'm so annoyed or upset that I just go off. That's clearly not healthy.
-I want to be more accepting of opposing opinions without feeling attacked by them.
-I want to be able to defend my beliefs without attacking people who feel differently than I do.
-I want to be more certain of the value of my own opinions, in that it's o.k. for my beliefs to differ from those of friends/family, and neither of us has to be wrong. Life's not black and white.
-I want to read more and watch TV less.
-I want to get up earlier and enjoy my morning, rather than rushing around like a mad woman and arriving at work still half-asleep and with clothes on backwards and inside-out.
-I want to read less about celebrity gossip and more about religion/politics/foreign affairs/the environment.
-I still want to make time to read about celebrity gossip :)
-I want to really listen to people, and know that sometimes I'm just there to listen and not to form opinions, label situations, or offer advice.
-I want to stop being so reserved.
-I want to act silly whenever I feel like it.
-I want to have the confidence to say things that others might deem goofy or stupid without fear of being judged negatively. I care way too much about what other people think.
-I want to start, and finish, writing a book. I can't tell you how many times I've written a few chapters and given up because I doubt my ability to write an interesting fictional story.
-I want to allow myself to be vulnerable in all aspects of life.

Monday, March 14, 2005

You Complete Me, Joel

I'm currently reading Joel Osteen's book, "Your Best Life Now" and I just came across this quote that I found inspirational:

"We serve the God that created the universe. We've got to eliminate this barely-get-by mentality."

Wow- that hits home. I'm the world's worst person about just accepting life as it is and not expecting any more out of it. I typically doubt every decision because I'm scared of failure. That's something I'd like to change about myself...I'm on a long-term mission to actually follow some of my dreams...

Several Things From This Weekend

1) I'm having buyer's remorse. We bought a new TV and now I feel like we're living in excess, and I should find a charity and donate something...Kevin hasn't given it a second thought other than to comment on how much better it is to watch TV on a big screen. I think the people look distorted now, but whatever.
2) I'm sunburned - for the first time in a long time. I never burn, but I did on Saturday. And it wasn't a normal burn. It's totally funky...my collar bone area didn't burn, but my left ear did. Not my right ear, though - just my left, which looks great. It was worth it though. Nothing better than tanning next to a pool, with a friend and some celebrity gossip magazines...
3) I finally went to see "The Wedding Date." It was cheesy and predictable and I loved it. There's this quote where Dermot Mulroney's character says to Debra Messing's character, "I think I would miss you even if we had never met." It was so sweet, and I'm such a sucker for romance that of course, I teared up. I've come to realize that I'm also cheesy and predictable...

Wedding

Yesterday, my cousin got married. I'm not going to lie - I really didn't know if this guy was ever going to settle down and get married. But he did. And he found the perfect girl for him - she's cute and sweet, affectionate and patient. They had the most beautiful wedding ever, complete with waterfall, gazebo, chocolate covered strawberries and dancing. Of course, I cried - several times - at the vows, the toast, and the first dance. When did I become such a pansy? I never used to cry at weddings...

Sunday, March 13, 2005

More on the Media

Seriously - when did it become o.k. to buy news coverage??? I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said, "Don't believe our biased liberal media." But if our main information outlet is the media, and the media obviously shapes our beliefs, and it's owned primarily by big businesses that gain so much from having Republicans in office, then why would they have a liberal bias? That goes against reason. In fact, somewhere along the way, it became acceptable for our government to buy news coverage...nice. This report is from the New York Times.

Under Bush, a New Age of Prepackaged TV
NewsBy DAVID BARSTOW and ROBIN STEIN
Published: March 13, 2005

It is the kind of TV news coverage every president covets.
"Thank you, Bush. Thank you, U.S.A.," a jubilant Iraqi-American told a camera crew in Kansas City for a segment about reaction to the fall of Baghdad. A second report told of "another success" in the Bush administration's "drive to strengthen aviation security"; the reporter called it "one of the most remarkable campaigns in aviation history." A third segment, broadcast in January, described the administration's determination to open markets for American farmers.
Advertisement
To a viewer, each report looked like any other 90-second segment on the local news. In fact, the federal government produced all three. The report from Kansas City was made by the State Department. The "reporter" covering airport safety was actually a public relations professional working under a false name for the Transportation Security Administration. The farming segment was done by the Agriculture Department's office of communications.
Under the Bush administration, the federal government has aggressively used a well-established tool of public relations: the prepackaged, ready-to-serve news report that major corporations have long distributed to TV stations to pitch everything from headache remedies to auto insurance. In all, at least 20 federal agencies, including the Defense Department and the Census Bureau, have made and distributed hundreds of television news segments in the past four years, records and interviews show. Many were subsequently broadcast on local stations across the country without any acknowledgement of the government's role in their production.
This winter, Washington has been roiled by revelations that a handful of columnists wrote in support of administration policies without disclosing they had accepted payments from the government. But the administration's efforts to generate positive news coverage have been considerably more pervasive than previously known. At the same time, records and interviews suggest widespread complicity or negligence by television stations, given industry ethics standards that discourage the broadcast of prepackaged news segments from any outside group without revealing the source.
Federal agencies are forthright with broadcasters about the origin of the news segments they distribute. The reports themselves, though, are designed to fit seamlessly into the typical local news broadcast. In most cases, the "reporters" are careful not to state in the segment that they work for the government. Their reports generally avoid overt ideological appeals. Instead, the government's news-making apparatus has produced a quiet drumbeat of broadcasts describing a vigilant and compassionate administration.
Some reports were produced to support the administration's most cherished policy objectives, like regime change in Iraq or Medicare reform. Others focused on less prominent matters, like the administration's efforts to offer free after-school tutoring, its campaign to curb childhood obesity, its initiatives to preserve forests and wetlands, its plans to fight computer viruses, even its attempts to fight holiday drunken driving. They often feature "interviews" with senior administration officials in which questions are scripted and answers rehearsed. Critics, though, are excluded, as are any hints of mismanagement, waste or controversy.
Some of the segments were broadcast in some of nation's largest television markets, including New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas and Atlanta.
An examination of government-produced news reports offers a look inside a world where the traditional lines between public relations and journalism have become tangled, where local anchors introduce prepackaged segments with "suggested" lead-ins written by public relations experts. It is a world where government-produced reports disappear into a maze of satellite transmissions, Web portals, syndicated news programs and network feeds, only to emerge cleansed on the other side as "independent" journalism.
It is also a world where all participants benefit.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Let It Ride...

Back to work...how is it Sunday already? Kevin and I have been watching Office Space, which completely reaffirms my belief that the movie was modeled after my job. I'm totally Milton. They've already taken away my cubicle. At least I'm aware of this fact, so that when they stop paying me, I won't be in complete shock.
We had such a fun weekend - went to Delta Downs and Coushatta over the weekend and gambled throughout the night last night. It started off well - I actually won $50 on my first pull, which was great, but of course I lost it back before the trip was over. I played some black jack, which always freaks me out a bit - I love it as long as I'm winning, but the minute I start to lose, I start mildly trembling. I'm just not great at handing out my money...it's a curse of mine :) See, I like to get something in return for my money - a neat shirt, some cool pants, a house - whatever. I saw this couple at the casino that was playing the $5 slots, and they must have put about $500 in to the machines within the ten-minute period that I watched them. I was stressin' about it, and I didn't even know them...this is exactly why I'll never win big at a casino. You gotta play big to win big, and I don't play big.
We went with my parents and some of their friends, which was really neat. I'm never more comfortable than I am with my family, so it made for an interesting trip. Especially on the little bit of sleep that we got last night. I tend to get sarcastic and giggly when I'm going on no sleep. Fun for me, hell for everybody else, I'm sure...