Bad Puppy!

Tonight, I was forced to come to the realization that if Kevin and I have children, I will have to take on the role of disciplinarian.

What led me to this conclusion, you ask?

Well, my first clue was when I walked into the living room only to hear Kevin "disciplining" Allie (our puppy), by saying: "We're going to have to discuss your disobedience, little one."

Allie's response? Nothing. Because SHE'S A DOG. And she doesn't understand the words "discuss" or "disobedience."

So what she heard was "Whah Whah Whah Whah Whah Wah, Little One." And this evidently led her to believe that she was getting a treat. Which led her into the extreme tail-wagging. Which made Kevin laugh. Which got her off the hook.

Way to be tough!

Sometimes We Just Need a Reminder...

...of how beautiful life is :)
Hope you're having a great day!!

Who, me?

So I was filling out a random, no-reason application which I will speak of no further so as not to jinx anything, when I was asked to describe my most embarrassing moment in life.
Embarrassing moment? Me? Hmmmm...
So as I mentally dug through my repertoire of embarrassing incidents, I was taken back to my first date with Kevin.
Yes, my then-23-year-old hottie crush, Kevin. Whom I had secretly lusted after since the first moment I met him. The one who made me start writing my would-be name "Courtney Olson" over and over on pieces of paper before I would shamefully tear out those pages and shred them so as to avoid being caught, and subsequently harrassed and embarrassed by one of my friends.
My Kevin had finally asked me out, and I was so excited, I could hardly wait. I think we were going to the movies. Or not. Who can remember these things?
So he picks me up at my apartment, and I suddenly remember that I've forgotten my cell phone upstairs. A girl can never leave her house without her cell phone, you know.
So I run back upstairs and grab the phone before heading back downstairs to the car.
No problem, right?
Wrong.
I hit the last step of the stairs, and I swear something grabs my foot (really nothing grabs my foot, I'm just clumsy and like to make myself feel better), throws it out from underneath my body, and I can feel life go in to slow motion. (I don't even have time to throw my arms out in that panicked way that Bugs Bunny always does after he realizes that the cliff is no longer beneath him and he's about to eat the dirt.)
No no, no time for that. Because my butt is headed for the ground. And quickly. And all I can see is Kevin's surprised face as he watches my head disappear behind the hood of the car.
I was mortified. And muddy. Such a bad combo for what I had hoped would be the perfect date.
And as I peel myself up off the ground, I see Kevin.
Is he being a gentleman? Maybe feeling sorry for me after my mishap? Wanting to comfort me and make me feel better?
Why no, he's not. He's laughing hysterically and pointing at me.
That was the night we both knew we would be married one day.

Oprah!

As you can probably tell from the title of this post, I watched Oprah today. (As an aside, one of my favorite things about my new job is that I'm home in time to watch OPRAH most of the time!!!)
Anyway, the topic was happiness. And it was such a simple and universal theme that it amazed me.
Basically, the therapist talked about what he called "destination addiction" - being so addicted to focusing on where you want to be that you forget to notice where you are. It's a continuous cycle - you set a goal, focus so much on reaching it because you think that when you do, you'll be happy, finally reach that goal, realize that happiness wasn't found in reaching the goal, set another goal that you think will make you happy, focus so much on reaching it that you forget to be content/happy with where you are...and so on, and so on...
(Doesn't that remind you of that anti-drug commercial: "So I can work longer, so I can earn more, so I can do more coke...so I can work longer, so I can earn more...")
He also called it "living in the not-now."

But he said the most obvious and profound thing: that happiness is within us, and the further away from ourselves we go to seek out happiness, the further we are away from our own happiness.

Anyway - that was extremely random (hence, the title of my blog), but I found it inspiring and wanted to share.

Bath and Body Works, You Sly Devil, You!

I recently bought the Banana Smoothie body wash from Bath and Body Works. Delicious!
But as I was getting a bath tonight, the back of the bottle caught my eye. And as I began to read further, this is what I found:

"She could tell from the beginning, from the second she laid eyes on him, that he was smooth. Real smooth. There was something dangerously seductive about him, restless and brooding, that attracted her like a magnet. And what a smooth talker! That man could charm the peel off a banana, she thought to herself as she turned away so he couldn't see her smile."

Bath and Body Works, I applaud you.
It takes guts to even say something that cheesy and soap-opera-esque. But to print it on your product? Why that's just plain fearless.

Star-biotch

Today was my day of indulgence.
I started my day at Starbucks (don't judge me!).
Ahead of me was a woman who seemed relatively normal...and then she began to talk:
"I want a tall mocha."
Starbucks girl replies, "Mocha cappuccino or latte?"
Crazy Star-biotch begins to freak out: "What do you mean cappuccino or latte? What's the difference? I normally come in, say tall mocha, and people just make me the drink that I like!"
Dramatic pause.
"I mean, I've never been so confused by any one person in my life. Just make me the drink and if it's wrong, I'll let you know. Oh, and I'm not going to pay for it if it's not right."
(Starbucks girl stares in disbelief with her mouth wide open, as Star-biotch continues in supersonic tone and speed.)
"I just can't believe that you can't figure out what drink it is that I want! How long have you worked here anyway? Because when I normally come in, the girl who's usually here automatically knows what to make me. And now that I think about it, it might be the white chocolate drink. But I don't know. She knows. She's the one who makes me my drink usually. I just can't believe that you can't figure out what it is that I want. I mean, how hard can it be?"
Then star-biotch does the unthinkable. She looks at me for moral support. She literally looks at me, lifts her eyebrows and rolls her eyes towards Starbucks girl as if to say, "Can you believe this?"
I'm completely unwilling to offer up even the slightest hint of empathy. In fact, I want to shout out, "No ma'am! I work in customer service and it's people like you who drive people like me crazy on a daily basis!"
Instead I avert my eyes and try to appear disinterested.
This sets crazy Star-biotch into a new frenzy:
"Well. I guess I'm just being ridiculous. I mean, this drink that you've given me is not what I normally get, but I'll accept it if I must. And I hope you don't have to deal with any more people like me today. Hopefully I'll be the worst customer and you can continue and not have anybody else like me! Good day!"
Crazy Star-biotch storms off, mocha LATTE in hand, and leaves Starbucks girl and me staring after her in disbelief. We both just shake our heads and I feel immediately compelled to say, "What a crazy broad."
We laugh. I order my drink and receive it without incident. Amazing.
This is a day in the life of a starbucks worker.
God bless them...

NOOO!

It's official.
I've hit my late twenties.
WHYYYYYY?!?

Diet Cherry Vanilla Pepsi:

Yes, please!
Seriously - if you haven't tried it, you should.

This Week:

1) Brother Craig has a recording studio where he does part time recording. He recently recorded a band that wrote a song about David Arquette. The band sent the song to David Arquette, who was so enthused about the prospect of his very own song that he actually went to watch the band when he was in Houston this week. Craig was at the show also, so he got to meet DA, who was evidently arm wrestling people for beer. RANDOM. But fun!!

2) The SSA softball tournament was supposed to be this weekend. We've been practicing for weeks now, got official office uniforms, got our lineup in order, woke up Saturday morning ready to play only to find out that a STORM had invaded us! We're talking thunder, lightning, wind, tornado watches - the works. But it only rained long enough to ruin the tournament. It's beautiful and sunny today. Suck.

3) I put on my "Martha Stewart" pants and decided to take on home projects this weekend. I planned to paint the bathroom and dining room yesterday. I proceeded to start on the bathroom only to remember how much I hate to paint. I'm still debating on the dining room: to paint or not to paint??? I'm thinking not.

4) I got the best present EVER from Kev today. He's taking me to see Cirque du Soleil in a few weeks. I know it's probably just a glorified Barnum and Bailey's but I don't care. I'm a geek and I could not be any more excited!!! Come on April 29th!!!

5) Maybe it was the mood created by the storm yesterday that caused me to suddenly want to watch scary movies...who knows? Because I HATE scary things. But I spent the afternoon watching the Discovery Channel's "A Haunting" and now I'm petrified. Why it is that I'm 27 years old and don't have the ability to separate TV shows from reality, I'll never understand. My husband can do it. He watched the same show and he's fine. I'm looking over my shoulder everywhere I go. This is why I don't watch scary movies!!!