Not All Fun and Games

Got home today only to find that Alli had pooped in her cage...and evidently spent the afternoon rolling around and smearing it EVERYWHERE. I think it was a fun way for her to get revenge on us for leaving her at home all day. It must be really nice to be that oblivious to the world that you just don't care when you literally have shit matted up in your eyebrows. She's a classy broad.

Alli

We did it. Kevin and I took the plunge into puppy ownership. Day one didn't hold a very good track record for our newest addition. In the last five hours, Alli (short for alligator) has pottied on our friend's couch once, and on our carpet twice. This is going to be interesting.

I guess this is the time when we're supposed to be breaking her in and getting her acquainted with our cats, both of whom seem to be less than pleased with our decision to add to the family. Sasha hated her from the minute Alli waddled in our front door. Mo held off on the feelings of hatred for her until Alli tried to use his tail as a punching bag. It was on at that point.
She's so cute though - maybe 8 inches long and possibly 4 inches tall. And she came with pink fingernails. And I couldn't resist getting her a rhinestone collar. Really, it's no wonder the cats hate her. They're probably plotting her death as I write this...

Kevin and Alli hanging out

Alli catching up on her beauty sleep

Piercings Part II

Somebody just found my blog by searching "Pierce me make it hurt" in Google.
Why would you want it to hurt?
This is a concept I just don't understand...

Blogger Tag II

Got tagged by Katie...

5 Weird Habits I have:
1) I jam out in my living room and pretend that Kevin's my "audience." He doesn't seem amused by this at all...
2) I sometimes talk to myself in my car on the way to and from work. I do some heavy bitching about my job at that time.
3) I can not sleep at night without first putting Carmex on my lips. Even if they don't need it.
4) I constantly call Kevin "baby" or "Kev," but never by his full name. Even when I'm mad at him. He knows I'm mad because I say his nickname in a sharp and exasperated tone.
5) I eat a Blue Bunny ice cream bar every night at 9 pm.

6 People I'm tagging:

1) Tom
2) Felicia
3) Berly
4) Amy
5) Phoebe
6) Cat

It's Called a S'more, Moron!

I was watching "Meet the Barkers" on MTV yesterday, and toward the end of the show, Shanna tells Travis that she has a surprise dessert that she wants to make for him. She proceeds to take two graham crackers, and form a sandwich with a piece of chocolate and a roasted marshmallow.
Here in Texas we call that a s'more. It's common knowledge here. I was actually under the impression that everybody knows about s'mores. I've known about it since I was two. But Travis was like, "Oh My God - where did you come up with this?" And Shanna responds, "Just a little something I concocted."
LIAR!!!
I practically shouted at the TV, "YOU DID NOT!"
Did she just think she could take credit for the s'more and nobody would notice???

Thank goodness Toyota built a car that will not physically let me lock the doors while the keys are still in the ignition, though, believe me, I've tried on several occasions...

Worth It

So I finally got to pick up my bridesmaid's dress for Amy's wedding. And though there was initial drama with the dress shop hoe bag (see post dated 11/21/05), it was totally worth it. The dress is so pretty: simple and cocktail length, meaning there are no length alterations needed. Props to Amy for her sense of style.
I think we all know how dangerously awry the bridesmaid's dress can go. One minute you're there, feeling honored after being asked to take part in your friends wedding; the next minute, you're being choked and/or smotherd by your big ass puffy sleeves. Or you're feeling like Little Bow Peep, walking down the aisle with your sheep conspicuously absent from the ceremony. Or you have to wear some ridiculous hat. I mean, the possibilities for humiliation are endless, really.
I think some brides actually plot against the bridesmaids. As in, "Ha ha! If I make them look like fat cows, I'll look skinnier!"
Thanks be to God that I haven't had to take part in a wedding like that yet...
And thanks be to Amy for picking a pretty dress!!!

Forget the Corolla...

I'm sorry, but this car is pimp!

(Thanks to Wes for providing the picture)

Cadbury Should Post Some Sort of Warning

You know what sucks about the beginning of the year is that you always have high hopes for new beginnings. And when that new beginning doesn't equal an improved beginning, it can be so frustrating.
That, and you're left with all that damn holiday candy that's constantly beckoning for you to eat it. Like that effing chocolate orange that's been calling my name from the pantry for a good three weeks now. Took care of that one today. And the Hershey's Kisses that fill my candy jar and long to fulfill their life's dream of being eaten by me. They're scheduled for tomorrow.
I have to ration these things so that my body doesn't go into complete meltdown.
Last year, I tried that strategy with the Easter Cadbury Eggs. I got so hooked on them that the thought of being without them saddened me. So in an attempt to make Easter a year-long event, I stockpiled about 20 Cadbury eggs. I ate one to two per month for the first 7 months, and then on the 8th month, I was so bummed to find out that they only have about a 7-month shelf life. And then the sugar hardens and the chocolate turns white.
Bummer about that.
That information would have been extremely useful in about October or so...

I'm Your Worst Nightmare!

I think I make my dad a bit nervous these days...
I was talking to him today, and after he made a relatively random/silly comment, he paused, cocked his head, pointed his finger at me and said, "Don't you post that on your blog!"
In the words of the evil lady from the Boardwalk: Muahahaha!!! (See my post titled, "At the Boardwalk" if you don't know what I'm talking about.)
Forget outright rebellion; It is my belief that having a child who writes in an open forum might just be a parent's worst nightmare!!!

Germ-X

So yesterday, I was talking to a man here at the office who seemed relatively normal. Conversation was fine, tone was good. Not a bad interview initially. And then it happened: the man was mid-sentence when he just started picking his nose right there.
There was no attempt to hide his habit. No "scratching" or "brushing" of the nose area. Nope - he just openly picked his nose and continued talking as if nothing was wrong.
WHAT?!? Who does that???
Immediately, my gag reflex kicked in, and everything in me wanted to make a dash for the Germ-X. This was a reflex that I did not fight. Offensive or not - you pick your nose at my window, and I will Germ-X your ass. Note that.

Balance, Co

Yesterday, I went bike riding with my little brother again. I mentioned previously about the dog problem around my parents' house...thus causing a bit of paranoia on my part that every unleashed dog is out to kill me.
So yesterday, we're on our last mile and I look up to see two unleashed, horse-like dogs awaiting our arrival at their driveway. I immediately switch into survival mode, start to stand up on my bike so that I can pedal faster, subsequently miss the pedal with my right foot and somehow manage to get my foot stuck underneath my bicycle.
So life goes into slow motion, of course, as I'm swerving out of control, trying to detach my foot from the underpart of the bike. My brother turns around just in time to see that I'm heading right for him, and before I can stop it, I literally crash into my poor, unsuspecting brother and cause him to be ejected from his bike seat as well.
The best part of it was that the two dogs just sat there staring at us in what appeared to be doggy astonishment. Not one of them moved an inch. Their work was done and they hadn't even had to do so much as bark. I'm sure they'll be telling that story to their puppies and grandpuppies...
Good stuff.

At The Boardwalk. BOARDWALK.

Kevin and I went to eat at the Kemah Boardwalk today. The best part about that is that on a day like today, you can eat outside and watch all the different people walk by.
And the only thing more interesting than that is sitting at a table within earshot of a bitter old lady who feels the need to comment on the passing people.
At one point, a slightly overweight kid wearing a "Got Jesus?" shirt walked by. He wasn't obese - just a little chunky. But the bitter old lady looked at the kid, laughed in this really evil way and said, "Looks like that kid's got more than just Jesus. He's had some chocolate in his time too, huh? Muahahaha."
A little later, there were two ladies walking by with strollers. Inside the strollers were not babies, but dogs. That's right. And when I saw that there were dogs inside, my heart dropped as I awaited the impending commentary.
Never one to disappoint, the evil lady practically shouted, "Why, those are the ugliest children I've seen in quite some time. Muahahaha."

I have to hand it to her: the woman had jokes. For the entire hour that we sat there next to her, she never ran out of sarcastic comments. She just spouted them off, one after another.
What is it about being really old that also makes you really mean?
My great grandma was the same way. The older she got, the meaner she got...and the more she seemed to like wearing the color peach.
I never want to get that old...

2006

My New Year's Resolution this year is simple: just to be more healthy.
And in honor of that resolution, I went on a 10-mile bike ride with my brother yesterday.
What is it about riding by on a bicycle that makes dogs go crazy? You can walk by and nothing - no response from the dog. But you go by on a bike, and it's like you're a steak on wheels. The sweetest dog suddenly becomes Cujo.
I never realized until yesterday, just how many dogs reside in Santa Fe...